Tony Trimingham, CEO and Founder of Family Drug Support Australia, talks about the importance of families, whanau and friends where there is concern about alcohol or other drug misuse by a family member or friend.

Someone you care about is drinking or using drugs. You can see many ways he or she is creating problems in his/her life and creating harm in yours. Whether your partner, child, sibling or friend, you have stood by them in support as they have tried or refused treatment. You…

My youngest child has always held a special place in my heart.  Like most mothers to their children, my son and I have always been connected to each other through a sweet love and complex bond. There was nothing I wouldn’t have done for him…but I couldn’t follow him down a path of…

Tena koutou katoa, greetings all. No Waitaha, ķati Mamoe, ķai Tahu me Tauiwi oku iwi.   I am a descendant of the first nations peoples from the southern lands of Aotearoa on my mother’s side with Dutch, English, Irish and Australian bloods on my Papa’s.  I grew up in a…

Mother of a Heroin Addict Nicholas was a much longed for child. Aware I would have no further children, his birth seemed especially poignant. Lavished with love he flourished growing into a kind, caring, sensitive, intelligent boy. From a young age he was a voracious reader mastering Shakespeare, the bible…

When I look back I see the journey with our son has been shrouded in substance misuse for a very long time. Publicly I was in denial, although privately I could see the journey he was on from his late secondary school days. Marijuana was initially his drug of choice.…

If you think you or someone you know may be dependent on painkillers, then you’ve taken the right step by looking for information here. We’re here to help you learn about dependence, to the group of painkillers called opioids, and to guide you in finding help to overcome it. What…

An online self help assessment https://www.counsellingsydney.com.au/do-i-have-depression-online-self-test/

Boundary – ‘a limit on what is reasonable’ – Oxford English Dictionary. One of the areas that families of substance users have difficulty with is in setting boundaries that are effective and manageable. All relationships where people live together need boundaries in place to develop trust, stability and respect within…

To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off; it’s the realisation that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let…

During passive communication, a person prioritises the needs, wants, and feelings of others, even at their own expense. The person does not express their own needs, or does not stand up for them. This can lead to being taken advantage of. Quiet/Soft spoken Allows others to take advantage Poor eye…

As the popularity of mindfulness grows, so too does our understanding of the ways we can apply this to decrease stress, and increase mental wellbeing. What is mindfulness? Paying attention in a particular way: On purpose In the present moment Nonjudgmentally Appreciating the present moment by purposely and continually paying…

When a person feels that they are being blamed – whether rightly or wrongly – it’s common that they respond with defensiveness. “I” Statements are a simple way of speaking that will help you avoid this trap by reducing feelings of blame. A good “I” statement takes responsibility for one’s…

Written and adapted by Tony Trimingham Family Drug Support Australia from various sources, especially the website of ADFAM UK. Adfam is a similar organisation to Family Drug Support Aotearoa New Zealand and Family Drug Support Australia based in the United Kingdom and they do excellent work supporting families of drug…

This maybe means that the first boundary to ask for is that there is to be dialogue and negotiation. If your attempts to achieve negotiation have not worked you may then have to impose it. This can be done verbally and/or in writing e.g. ‘I notice that whenever I try…

Written and adapted by Tony Trimingham FDS Australia from various sources, especially the website of Adfam, UK. Adfam is a similar organisation to Family Drug Support Aotearoa New Zealand and Family Drug Support Australia. You can expect boundaries to be broken by substance users – especially when they are first…

Having thought about the boundary you would like to set and being prepared to talk about it, the next thing is to set it with the substance user. The skill to utilise is negotiation. It is important to build and maintain a dialogue between the user and other family/whānau members…

What is the issue, circumstance, area of concern? What do you need to achieve? Examine your motive in wanting to set this boundary. Is it in response to clear thinking about an area of concern or is it an angry response to a set of circumstances? If the person wasn’t…

By Elizabeth Stewart Elizabeth Stewart is Family Drug Support Aotearoa New Zealand’s guest contributor. She is a health professional with an interest in personality psychology. Some things we choose to share with our family/whanau, friends, and acquaintances. Such things may include: our successes, family members’ successes, holiday plans and even…